I remember how it all started. I remember my nerves conflicting with my excitement. I didn’t know how to feel anything but anxious. I remember smiling though unfamiliar faces and laughing through the first few nights out. My college life was just getting started. I was a freshman at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. I didn’t know what I wanted to be or who I wanted to be. The best part of that is, I didn’t need to.
I ended my first serious relationship with the first love of my life shortly into the semester. My regret of losing the only person to understand me completely at that time drifted quickly. I became obsessed with the casualness of college and with the ability to start over with the unknown. I remember how exhilarating it was, to explore this idea of suddenly being free from an attachment that was too mature for the immature couple we were. I look back now and giggle at the thought of an eighteen year old believing she knew what she wanted in a companion. I’m almost twenty two and I’m still not completely sure, yet I’m positive that’s okay.
